I entered my first year of college with a boyfriend and I was SO in love. I’m talking airbrushed nails with his name on the ring finger type of love! There I was, 18 years old and about to begin the molding phase of my life without any rules, boundaries and no clue what love was all about. We met the summer before my senior year after Ex-Factor told me about his new girlfriend, so I was just happy to meet someone that liked me and was willing to give me a title. My heart was an open playing field and he was an equally inexperienced boy ready to play. It was a classic example of teenage love.
Although we didn’t breakup until the beginning of my second semester, two months into the first semester I found out he was cheating on me. Since I had been so wrapped up in love, I hadn’t gotten involved in any activities on campus so when I finally arrived on the social scene I was broken and filled with hurt, bitter and anger. Basically I was a bitch and I didn’t care what I said, how I said it and most importantly who I said it to. I was a completely different from the “Senior Class President/Girls Basketball Best Defensive Player/Homecoming Maid & Prom Court/Senior class voted Best Personality & Class Clown” girl from just a year prior. Therefore, I decided to lash out my emotions in order to reflect the pain I was going through. If you need a visual reference of my behavior, please see any reality show that includes the words “love”, “real” or “wives”.
So why didn’t anybody warn me about teenage love? Surely my mother and sister had been through this before, so why didn’t they tell me that type of love wouldn’t last? Maybe they didn’t want to hurt my feelings or maybe teenage love is a lesson that one must learn on their own. Besides, I was young and probably wouldn’t have believed their advice was truth. If I knew back then what I know right now about love, I would have told myself these 5 things:
Love shouldn’t feel this way. Follow your intuition and believe more of what you see and less of what you hear.
One day, this relationship will be a memory. He did you a favor and you’ll have Lessons in Love that will prepare you for the next one.
You have a lot of life to live. Think of all you have to offer and don’t block opportunities to grow and gain experience in order to define your true meaning of love.
It’s impossible to change him. By choice he will grow and until that happens, what you see is what you get.
There is power in forgiveness. Write this on your bathroom mirror and recite it everyday.
It took 5 years, my entire college experience, to get over my teenage love. I carried blame as to why we broke up during those years because I knew I made some bad decisions, ignored the signs and settled for the little I was given. I’m thankful for having my heart broken at a younger age because I’m a Big Kid Now and I realize the importance of truly knowing myself. Choosing not to Carry On was hard, but in the end it was the best remedy to get over my teenage love.
If you could give your younger self any advice about love, what would you say?
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